


What Survives

by DiamondsxStags



Series: OTP: I will hold the bowl of venom [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: F/M, Ragnarok, and the events leading up to it, because i guess im incapable of writing happy shit for these two lmao, included marvel and norse characters tags cause lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12091926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamondsxStags/pseuds/DiamondsxStags
Summary: When Loki finally crosses the line, a price needs to be paid.Or: How Ragnarok was a joint effort.





	What Survives

_God is not death. God is what survives._

-Mark Jarman

* * *

 

Baldr was dead and Sigyn could not sleep.

Her bed lay empty as she stood on the balcony, listening to the night while waiting for Loki, but she knew he would not join her tonight. Not after the day’s events.

She had not been present when it all happened, but she had heard the story so many times she could imagine that she had been.

Some other Aesir had grown bored and Baldr had suggested throwing things at him and watching them bounce off, which was a popular past time. Sigyn herself had taken part in it in the past, and had watched as her magic ricocheted off Baldr and hit a nearby tree or bush or statue. No poison or blade could fell Baldr. Thor had tried to knock Baldr down many times using Mjolnir, and always failed. It was a futile task, but it never failed to amuse everyone who tried. Much like how everyone would try to lift Mjolnir, despite knowing that it would not even budge.

But on that day, Loki had decided to cause mischief, as was his wont. Except this mischief would have much bigger consequences. Somehow Loki had convinced Baldr’s brother Hodr to throw a spear at his brother. Hodr, believing that his brother would remain unscatched, complied. But what Hodr did not know was that the spear was made of mistletoe, the only thing in all the Nine Realms capable of injuring Baldr. With luck that seemed almost too good, or bad depending on how you looked at it, to be true, the spear pierced Baldr’s heart. In an instant smiles were exchanged for looks of horror as Baldr fell, his wife Nanna wailing so loudly she could be heard throughout the palace. It had made the hairs all over Sigyn’s body stand up, and though she did not know what had happened at the time, she had still felt a chill go through her.

Within the hour, the news of Baldr’s death had spread throughout Asgard, and the whole realm was thrown into mourning. Baldr had been well-liked, he was handsome and graceful and kind and gave off a light as bright and warm as himself. Sigyn could not name a time when she had been annoyed with him, and she knew many others would be in the same position. He was the best of them all in many ways, and he had been brought down by mistletoe.

Hodr immediately owned up to the crime, and when everyone learned that Loki seemed to have a hand in the death of the best beloved of the Aesir, melancholy was joined by rage. Aside from giving Hodr the weapon, many believed that Loki had in fact guided the spear, for how else could it have hit it’s mark so well? After all, Hodr was blind, and not even Aesir could experience that kind of luck. Odin had sent out everyone who was willing to find Loki, to scour the whole realm if need be. That had been hours ago, when the sun had just reached it’s highest point in the sky, and still there was no news.

It was a night without a moon, as if it too was mourning Baldr. Sigyn closed her eyes, and in the distance she could hear Nanna’s keening, swallowing up the dark.

Another chill took hold of Sigyn, and she knew that Loki was not going to get out of this one.

* * *

The next morning, Sigyn could not find her sons. This on it’s own wasn’t necessarily strange, they were men now and lead their own lives and did not need their mother constantly watching over them. But something had formed in the pit of Sigyn’s stomach, big and dark and ugly, and it refused to let her be. As she searched for her boys, the thing grew bigger, whispering all the ways her sons could’ve been harmed into her heart. This made her more nervous, which in turn fed It, trapping her in a cycle of ever increasing anxiety.

Thor had found her in the gardens, calling for her sons in a voice that she had not used since her boys really were boys. He approached her carefully, gently putting his hand on her shoulder. “Sigyn-”

“Have you seen them?” She looked up at Thor, eyes wide as she wrung her clammy hands. “Narfi and Vali, have you seen them?”

“It’s time for Baldr’s funeral.” He said.

“But my sons-”

“Can care for themselves.” Thor’s hand moved from Sigyn’s shoulder to her back and he slowly guided her away the flowers that Vali loved, many of which he had planted. “Come. We must honor Baldr.”

Sigyn was about to say more, but she saw how red Thor’s eyes were and she held her tongue.

* * *

As befitting the dearly beloved Baldr, his funeral was a grand affair, but solemn. His beloved ship, the largest of any that had ever been crafted, was consumed with flames as his body rested on it, his horse lying at his side and remaining so silent and still, Sigyn wondered if it too was dead. Nanna stood at the front, her tears accompanied by no noise. It would seem she had worked her throat raw during the night. Frigga stood by her side, and when Nanna took a step towards the pyre, Frigga brought her back. Sigyn imagined that she knew the reason why.

Just as Baldr and his ship passed the horizon, Odin turned to face all the Aesir and palace guards and servants who had attended. “All of you, come with me.” He voice was pure cold steel, and no one could imagine why Odin had asked this of them. Nervous glances were exchanged by many, but no one dared to disobey.

Slowly, the giant funeral procession was lead by Odin to the mouth of a giant cave, far from the sight of the palace. In the cave was huge pile of stones that towered over another three that were laid out in it’s shadow. The placement appeared to be deliberate, although Sigyn could not guess what the purpose was. And beside the cave itself were two royal carriages, golden and resplendent, each with four guards. The carriages were rarely ever used as the royal family were all avid riders, and they were saved for the most spectacular of occasions. This didn’t seem like one of those occasions.

Odin stopped just in front of the three stones and finally turned to face everyone again, his one eye roaming over the crowd. He then turned to the carriages, the guards all standing a little straighter. “Bring him out.” The Allfather said, his voice almost a snarl.

The guards surrounding the carriage on the right all nodded, and one threw open the door before climbing in. A few moments later, a body was shoved out, manacled at the wrists and ankles.

“LOKI!”

Sigyn immediately went to join her husband, but her path was blocked by the other three guards who had been watching the carriage that had held her husband. She stared up at them, tongue too heavy to form words. Whether it was because of a whim the men all shared or a signal they had received and Sigyn could not see, two grabbed her arms and held her back, while the third stood to the side. She struggled to escape their grasp, but she was only yanked backwards.

“Don’t touch her like that!” Loki spat. Though he had been forced to his knees, he remained defiant and his eyes were blazing as he glared at the men holding Sigyn back.

“These men do not answer to you.” Odin said, sounding like his patience had already reached it’s limit. He approached Loki, his blue eye boring into him. “Your tricks have finally gone too far.” He said. “Baldr is dead before his time, because of you.”

Loki did not deign to answer, merely glared at Odin.

“Time and again you have been given chances to prove yourself a good man, and each chance was thrown back in my face.”

Sigyn could feel her breath catch in her throat. All previous hushed conversations had stopped, as more than a hundred pairs of eyes watched, waiting to see what was to become of Loki.

Odin started to pace, slowly, and it felt like some time before he spoke again. “You have been punished over and over for your transgressions, and yet none of them seem to stick.” He was silent again, and his gait became slower and more deliberate, drawing every last moment out as long as possible. “Perhaps, along with you being punished, someone else must be as well.” He turned to the other carriage and without any sound or movement from him, two guards step aside while the other two went aside to bring out whomever was being kept inside.

It took a heartbeat for Sigyn to recognise the bodies of her sons, tense and stiff as they looked around in fear, chained and forced to kneel like their father. She fought back harder against the men holding her, screaming incoherently.

Loki’s eyes went wide for a moment, before narrowing as he stared back at Odin. “What do you want with them? They haven’t done anything!”

“Neither did Baldr.” Odin said, staring down at the frightened young men. “But that didn’t stop you, did it.”

“LET THEM GO!” Sigyn wailed, thrashing and flailing, trying to free herself. “TAKE ME! LET THEM GO!” She did not know what Odin had planned for them, could not even guess, but she knew she would take their place if she could.

But Sigyn’s pleas fell on deaf ears as everyone watched Odin approach Sigyn and Loki’s sons.

Vali, the eldest, immediately threw himself in front of his brother, making the guards draw their swords and Odin pause. “Please Allfather.” He said, his voice gentle even now. “Don’t hurt my brother.”

"I wasn't going to." Odin assured him, almost eerily calm.

For a split second, Sigyn felt a weight come off her shoulders, and she could see the relief in Vali’s eyes.

But the relief was quickly replaced by fear as Odin lowered the tip of Gungnir on Vali’s head, muttering an incantation in a voice too low for Sigyn to hear.

It seemed to happen all at once, and yet far too slowly.

Vali’s back was suddenly arched so high and his flesh and clothes seemed so tight Sigyn would see every inch of his spine. His clothes started to tear as his skin was covered with fur, and the clearing drowned in Vali’s screams of agony. The manacles that held him snapped as his legs bent, his feet and hands turned into paws, and his mouth elongated into a giant maw.

Sigyn was forced to watch as her own son was forcibly transformed into a wolf the size of man, his shrieks of pain slowly turning into howls.

When the transformation was complete, Vali slumped onto the ground, his back heaving as his clothes lay torn all around him. Sigyn blinked as a tear ran down her cheek, and she prayed that would be the end of it.

If someone heard her prayer, they ignored her.

Odin once again placed Gungnir on Vali’s head and recited another incantation. In an instant, Vali’s eyes snapped open. Before, they had been a deep brown, much like Sigyn's own. They had been kind and warm and encouraged friendship, much like Vali himself, always such a sweet boy. Now, as a wolf, he pushed himself up onto his feet, and pulled back his lips in a snarl. He locked eyes with Sigyn and for a moment, she wondered how long it would take for her son to reach her and sink his fangs into her soft throat.

As it turned out, she needn't have bothered.

Vali turned and jumped onto his brother, immediately tearing at his clothes and rending his flesh. Narfi’s screams of pain mingled with Vali’s growls into a horrifying harmony and Sigyn watched as one of her son’s tore the other asunder.

She did not know how she was able to remain standing, or how she had been able to not vomit.

When she finally realized Narfi was no longer making any sound, Sigyn watched Vali back away from his brother’s corpse, now so torn apart Sigyn could barely recognise her own son. Vali opened his mouth, and Narfi’s entrails fell onto the ground.

For a moment all was silent. No one moved. Sigyn barely dared to breathe.

The spell was broken by Vali’s high pitched whining, his ears flattening against his head as he slowly backed away from the carnage he created. He lowered his head, whining more and snuffling in a way that almost sound like he was sobbing. He looked up at Sigyn and she swore she could see grief and regret in his eyes. In that moment, she felt her heart break even more than it already had.

The next moment, Vali turned and ran, bounding into the distance as he howled in a way that sounded like keening. All the guards, save the ones restraining Sigyn, made to move forward, but Odin held up his hand. "Let him go." He said. "I doubt the boy will have the strength to go on."

A strangled sob came from Sigyn's mouth and it took her a moment to realize it. She looked over at Loki, who was staring at the bloody remains of his youngest child. His skin had always been rather pale, a fine contrast to Sigyn's own brown skin, but now he looked even paler, sickly. "He didn't deserve that." Loki croaked out, and Sigyn could see a tear leak out of his eye.

"Neither did Baldr." Odin looked at the two guards who were forcing Loki to kneel and he nodded.

Without a word, the guards dragged Loki to the three laid out stones. He didn't even fight back, just stared and stared at what remained of Narfi. He didn't struggle when he was forced onto the rock, and Sigyn felt another cry ready to crawl up and out of her throat.

Odin went to Narfi's remains and when he knelt Sigyn thought he was going to say a prayer or express some kind of remorse. If he had, perhaps she would be able to forgive him.

When he rose, he had Narfi's entrails in his hands.

"For the rest of your days, you will be bound to these rocks." Loki struggled as Odin wrapped the bloody innards around him, but with each new binding he seemed to find the struggle that much harder. "You will never again cause any pain to anyone." When he rose, Sigyn saw that Loki could barely move, his skin being stained by the blood of his youngest child. "But this is only one half of your punishment." Odin raised Gungnir and tapped it on the larger pile of stones that were casting a shadow over Loki.

There was an almost audible intake of breath.

The rock formation shuddered into being, as the hard stone shifted into a body that was as long as it was wide, with scales that bore a decorative and bold pattern. A head reared up and a mouth opened, displaying fangs as long as swords, dripping with venom. The beast's forked tongue flicked and the hiss it made rang out in the cave, making it sound like there were a thousand snakes hiding in the dark.

"This snake will lie above you and keep guard, and if you do manage to escape, it will kill you." Odin stood to the side of the snake, as if he too feared it. "And when it's venom falls on you, it will cause you suffering like you have never felt before."

As if it had been trained, the snake lowered it's head and shook, letting a single drop of venom fall onto Loki's forehead.

He screamed and it felt like the noise had grabbed hold of Sigyn's gut and wrenched it.

"And so you will remain, until the sun burns out, and all of the water has dried out, and time itself stops." Odin walked away. " _This_ is your punishment Silvertongue."

"Allfather!" Sigyn fell to her hands and knees, her tears now freely flowing as she stared up at the old man. Her nails dug into the dirt and she knew the guards were still holding her but she could no longer feel them. "Let me stay with him!" She begged, her words almost dissolving into sobs. "Let me be with my husband!"

Odin looked down at her. Sigyn had long suspected that he held a kind of pitying affection for her, no doubt because of the suffering she had been put through at the hands of her husband. She saw his face soften slightly before it went back to hard steel. "You have already proven yourself to be a loyal wife." He said. "There's no need for you to continue to suffer."

"You have already condemned me to a life of suffering." Sigyn told him, looking directly at Odin. "I am a mother without children and you would make me a wife without a husband. One heart break is enough, don't make me suffer me another." She crawled towards him and stopped, waiting for the guards to hold her back. When they didn't, she kept crawling until she was directly at Odin's feet. "I have only ever loved one man, and you have bound him to rock." She looks at Loki, and she sees he is straining his neck to meet her eye. Even the snake seems fascinated, as it has closed it's mouth and is now watching. "Let me have this Allfather, at least. Let me have this one last thing." Already half mad with grief, she grabbed Odin's furs, trailing dirt into the fibers, anything to look as desperate as she felt. "For a fear that if you don't, I will die before the week is out."

For a long, horrible moment, Sigyn thought Odin would refuse. He was looking down at her and frowning, and Sigyn feared that Odin had reached the end of his patience for her as he had for Loki. But then he sighed.

And he knelt, so the two were eye to eye.

And he conjured a bowl, wide and deep, and handed it to Sigyn. "In this bowl you will catch the venom that falls, and protect your husband, caring for him as you always have. But it will fill, and you will have to empty it, and some venom will fall on Loki." He looked deep into Sigyn's eyes, and she would swear that she thought she saw the whole universe in his. "If you take it, you cannot leave his side."

Sigyn took the bowl before the last syllable could leave Odin's mouth.

She was lead to Loki's side and put back on her knees as some of son's entrails were wrapped around her legs, securing her to the rock. When the snake opened it's mouth again, Sigyn was ready with the bowl and caught it.

Odin gave her one last, pitying look, before he lead everyone away from the cave and back to the palace.

"You didn't have to do this." Loki whispered, voice hoarse.

"Yes I did." Sigyn, in the same kind of voice. "What other choice did I have?"


End file.
